Occam’s Israel

History Chalks Up Another Slave Revolt

Imagine a 30-year old prison, anywhere in the United States, where the inmates escaped into the nearby neighborhoods, killed people with guns bought at Walmart, then brought some of them back to the prison as hostages.

Now imagine the President of the United States declaring “War!” on that prison.

War? On your own prison?

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ISRAEL.

Aide: Prime Minister, the Palestinians have kidnapped old ladies and more old ladies!

Netanyahu: From where? Be specific young man!

Aide: Gaza

Netanyahu: I knew they couldn’t be trusted. We spend billions on a nice wall for them. Not a POS Trump wall mind you. Serious stuff. A wall we could both be proud of. And this is how they thank us!

Aide: What do you think will happen?

Netanyahu: Simple my boy. Their offensive will last 2 days 17 hours and 11 minutes. At the end we will begin our offensive. That is, after we use our fighter jets to bomb the tallest buildings they have. Palestinians get very distracted trying to dig out children from toppled buildings. For the life of me I don’t know why they keep having children when they have no future in that place and Iran pays…