“Partial” Civil War
George Carlin would have a field day! Why not “Half-ass” mobilization, or “Mobilization-maybe”, “Drunks To The Front”, “FSB Hide-and-Seek”, “The Great Rusty Veteran Call-up” — I look forward to the comments! (which I will steal as fast as Russians eyeing Ukrainian washing-machines!)
From Frederick C. Lee in the comments:
Comrade Cadet asked his friend:
“What would you do if they opened the borders?”
“I would climb a tree.”
“Why?”
“So I don’t get killed in the stampede.”
What surprises me is that many commentators take this “mobilization” seriously. If there’s one thing most Russians have a knack for, whether they enjoy or not, it’s corruption. Remember that line of military vehicles stuck on the highway near Kyiv because most of the gas had been sold weeks before?
Call me naïve, but I believe most young Russian men have already disappeared underground.
Putin has a knack for separating the Russian population. Creating a class of yacht-loving oligarchs. Military and police groups based on loyalty before all else. An old generation of Stalin apologists. A young generation doing college art, on the way to a career driving cabs. And of course, the smart ones who are already doing tech-work in Georgia.
I pity the disciplined, ethical professional Russian soldier. First, he’s run out of the good missiles. Second, the Ukrainians get better, both in equipment and experience. Civilians are increasingly targeted (again, talking about disciplined professional soldiers here). Winter is coming. Supplies are short. And to top it all off, whoever Putin believes is going to the front, only the old and feeble will arrive. Cannon fodder? It’ll take half a day to get them out of bed! And even if they do, most likely they’ll freeze to death before firing their guns.
I’ve heard many experts say that the implicit deal between Putin and the Russian people is they’ll let him do whatever he wants as long as he doesn’t ask them to get politically engaged — like in the politics of war. If I’m Russian and have any experience in the United States or Europe I’d push back on that.
It’s one thing not to have the choice to make yourself heard politically; it’s quite another to have that freedom but do nothing with it. All young people, the world over, are politically checked-out. In a strange way, it’s one of the phenomena that drive Putin the boomer bat-shit crazy.
Europe doesn’t buy enough gas for 2022 and blames Russia for it? Putin is like how about this tank up your ass. Yes, yes, he’s evil and all that, but we can’t ignore what remains a problem — Europe continues to let Ukrainians die because it didn’t pay enough to wield a big stick or prepare to call Russia’s invasion with an economic shut-down.
The war would be over sooner if A) Europe fought alongside Ukraine or B) cold-turkey stopped buying anything from Russia. (I don’t believe Putin would use nukes if he saw real commitment behind those two options). Putin was right in predicting neither of those would happen.
He deserves to win. Fortunately, life isn’t fair (this is a joke!)
It makes me sick to my stomach all the people dying in this preventable war.
As I’ve written from day one, Putin will not survive the war (but maybe he will!).
What does it mean for the Ukraine war to be over? I believe Russia can work as a democracy but I would have said that in 1917 too. The future is scary, so scary.
I want to keep this short. I worry that the end of the Ukraine war will be the beginning of something just as bad, if not worse. There will be no satisfying victory for anyone.
So bring on the jokes. I need some cheering up!
