(I edited my comment to address what I believe i one of your concerns, that it's all about men; it isn';t)

You write as if you know what “kind of things [someone] likes”. What are those things? And how do you make anything enjoyable for HER, or anyone else. You write from theory, not real life. In my experience no one knows what they really want. No one.

And if no one knows what they really want, is 100% consent possible? I don’t believe it is, which is why fewer young people have relationships that lead to children. When it’s more important to get that “consent” for something that isn’t fully desired or understood then best to skip it altogether.

To this day I only have a general idea of what I want. So when my wife does something without my consent I try to live with it, to understand what it says about me, instead of lecturing her about the importance of getting my consent.

This new generation hasn’t figured out anything that isn’t already known. Utopia cannot be created, a consent cannot be found, in the biological imperatives and spiritual anxieties such as ours.

All sex has a small component of rape in it. I wish it didn’t. I truly do. No one can “consent” 100% of it, all away, all the time. To have a family, one has to drop the "consent" politics at the door.